Growing up it was a running joke in my family about the large birth mark on my arm - everyone would say I forgot to wash my arm or I missed a spot. My family also teased me about my nose saying I had my grandma's nose. This wasn't said in a sweet or loving way, they weren't complimenting me. Those are just a couple examples of the negative body images I learned growing up. Now at 36 it's still a very present issue I'm just constantly moving too much to stop and focus on it until I'm forced to.
Like the other night - I had a dream that I was dating Jason Sudeikis. I have no clue how this subconsciously came about other than there is a guy on a local radio station whose voice sounds like his and I heard it that day but it was literally a fleeting thought. I don't have any secret crush on the guy. I think he's a great actor and funny and that's essentially where it ends. Anyways, in this dream he was mine, which was weird and I could feel that. I felt that I was out of his league and couldn't understand what he saw in me. I could also feel that he was completely in love with me. In the dream he had to leave, probably shoot a movie or something. Shortly after he left a woman came up to me and told me I was fat (I can't remember her exact words). This off handed comment from a clearly jealous and most likely damaged woman planted in the deepest part of my soul and I couldn't for the life of me get past it. It broke my confidence so bad that I can still feel the depression and feelings associated with it and it's been over a day now.
The dream continued with me spiraling and Jason desperately trying to show me what he saw in me and how beautiful I am. It was heartbreaking.
I woke up and the first thought that came to mind was something I heard not too long ago (I cannot recall where) - it was that words have power. When I first heard that it stuck with me but didn't resonate until now.
Words have power.
Words have power and we have a responsibility to use them wisely - how differently would my self image be today if my younger self was told how beautiful and unique my nose was and that my grandma was the only other person in our family to have it or that my birthmark was special. I certainly wouldn't be spending my dream time with Jason sorting through my self image - I can think of better ways to spend that time with him.
I truly believe everyone is walking around damaged in one way or another, myself included. Some more than others. Words have the power to speak directly to that damage and either add to it, further justifying it or help heal it. I know it's hard to know what everyone's damage is, especially if they don't share it with your or aren't aware of it themselves. Instead of tearing each other down, let's choose our words wisely and lift one another up!
