I read an article a few months back that was a letter from a two year old. The article was about how hard it is for them to communicate to adults and because of that they didn't get to do the things they could and enjoyed or weren't given what they needed. They loved walking to the car but because their parents were always in a rush they never got to so they would get upset when buckled in. A kid took a toy away from them and they got upset and the teacher told them "You're fine." and all they wanted was a hug. You can imagine that as a mother of an 17 month old and being pregnant I was a sobbing mess at the end. However, the article really resonated with me as I know that when Sawyer throws a tantrum, cries, fusses or even hits, he's desperately trying to tell me something but can't verbalize it yet and I'm clearly not getting it. While that part will take time for both of us, I immediately started making changes in our days.
I started changing how I respond when he "hurts" himself, saying "It's ok."or asking "Are you ok?" instead of "You're ok." because while it might be ok, it doesn't mean that he is and it's not my call to make. Yes, my son is only 19 months old but I've found that by talking to him like this, it helps me to work on saying the right thing for when he can understand me and I feel it makes a difference in the long run. When he was a baby we taught him to be gentle with our pups by saying "gentle" repeatedly and showing him how to do that. He now knows exactly what I mean when I say "gentle" and he treats our pups and cat exactly how we showed him.
Unless he wants to be carried we let Sawyer walk to the car and we help him to climb into it as well. Since he loves to explore this usually takes an extra 5 or 10 minutes because he'll walk around our driveway. After we pick him up from Kids Club at the Y, we let him walk the sidewalk and grass area out front before we head to the car. He loves it and is usually super chatty, I can assume he's filling us in on his day. Whenever we go to the store we let him walk in before getting put into the cart and then at the end I let him push the cart or hop a ride if it's Target (they have the best carts). I noticed a immediately after making these changes we had less fights getting into the car seat.
Unexpectedly this shift has given me moments out of my crazy days to enjoy the simple things like watching my son splash in puddles with endless amounts of joy and curiosity, explore something new or just getting to hold his hand while we walk. Whether the article had any validity or not, it's made a difference in our lives and I'm grateful for it.
P.S. Shout out to two of my subscribers who always post a link to my website or guides in the local mom's group! I'm so grateful to you both for sharing, spreading the word and supporting me!
Always,
Dana
Don't let the rain stop you from Trick or Treating this week, check out this local guide, updated with rain event options and reschedules!
Like us on Facebook, love us in person!
